I want to develop a sexual relationship with my partner but I am afraid of losing control of my bowel and bladder. What do I do? 

The most important thing you can do is talk to your partner about your concerns. If your relationship is intimate enough to consider becoming lovers, you are also intimate enough to make sure you are both secure and comfortable with being sexual together.

Prepare for sex by emptying both your bladder and bowels beforehand. This should take care of most of the urine and stool at risk for being accidentally released during sex. In case there is some leakage during sex, have a moist towel nearby to wipe it away. There is no harm if some urine or stool is temporarily on either your or your partner's skin. Any stool that gets into the vagina should be cleansed away with a douche; however, douching is not routinely nor needed nor advised after all sex.

Most important for both of you is to discuss how you will handle the possibility of this leakage occurring before you start. Communication is key to any relationship and talking about this will allow for the physical intimacy to come naturally.

More information on sexual functioning and fertility is available in the Health Guide for Adults Living with Spina Bifida available from the Spina Bifida Association Marketplace Publications webpage.

For more information on the genetics and factors associated with Spina Bifida, please visit the Spina Bifida Association fact sheet.

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